A redefined tragic heroine
So, these unearthed documents? They finally give us a front-row seat to Marilyn’s thoughts, and, man, it’s a trip! Ever heard that wild conspiracy theory that a U.S. president might’ve had something to do with her passing? And the whispers that she might’ve been offed and the overdose was just a cover-up? It’s all super intense.
While many were quick to exploit the mysterious circumstances surrounding her death and paint Marilyn as a victim of fame and success, a twist came in 2010. A collection of her letters, notes, poems, and various writings were released. Suddenly, Marilyn was given a chance to tell her story in her own words. These writings presented a new, surprising world that captivated readers, revealing the woman behind the iconic image in a way never seen before.
Secret diaries discovered
When these journals, letters, recipes, and other gems surfaced, it was like everyone’s wait was finally over. Turns out, when Marilyn passed, she left everything to these acting coaches, Lee Strasberg and his wife Paula. A biographer on Netflix said they were kinda like her refuge. But here’s the crazy part – even though she left us in ’62, her estate wasn’t sorted till the ’70s.
Many believe that there’s still a lot more to uncover regarding Marilyn’s personal writings. This captivating and complex woman had many hidden facets. Who knows what other treasures from her unshared thoughts and reflections might still come to light? It’s a tantalizing thought, given what has already been revealed about her innermost feelings and experiences.
An auction to remember
Lee Strasberg held onto Marilyn’s stuff and a whopping 75% of her intellectual property till he kicked the bucket. But after he died in ’82, his third wife, Anna, got the baton. The Strasbergs turned Marilyn’s image into this mega money-making machine, and a lot of that cash helped run their acting institute in NYC.
In 1999, Anna Strasberg made a move that would shake the world of collectors: she decided to auction off numerous items that once belonged to the iconic Marilyn Monroe. The auction was a smashing success, with total sales reaching an astonishing $13.4 million. A significant chunk of that, $1.3 million, came from the sale of the famed “Happy Birthday” dress – an item that is now etched in history.
Records come to light
Anna was the one who stumbled upon Marilyn’s writings. No one’s exactly sure when, but it seems to be a few years post-Lee’s passing. Tucked away in two boxes were thoughts, feelings, and scribbles that gave fans a real peek inside the mind of the world’s most talked-about star.
The year 2010 was pivotal for Marilyn’s admirers and scholars alike. It was then that her poems, diaries, and various personal writings were made available to the public. These invaluable documents were carefully curated and published in “Fragments: Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters by Marilyn Monroe,” a labor of love put together by Stanley Buchthal and Bernard Comment.
Intimate notes and insightful insights
The folks in charge of this collection? They’ve basically called it a goldmine. Nothing scandalous, mind you – that wasn’t Marilyn’s style. But there’s this raw, vulnerable vibe in her notes. They don’t demystify her – they actually make her even more of an enigma. Imagine a star that was so captivating that she’d throw everyone off balance.
These writings provide an unparalleled insight into Marilyn’s life – a woman who has mesmerized and continues to charm generations. The notes shed light on intimate details of her marriages, especially with personalities like James Dougherty and Arthur Miller. They also detail episodes of her numerous hospital stays and even provide shocking insights into her untimely demise.
Marilyn in her own words
Most of her notes were kinda scattered, no dates or anything. But the peeps organizing the book put it in a loose timeline. And when Marilyn got a bit cryptic with codes and shorthand? They cracked the code. Like when she mentioned an “A.I.”, turns out she was probably talking about her great-grandma.
As one flips through these pages, certain figures stand out, underscoring their pivotal role in Marilyn’s life. Among these are Lee Strasberg, her three trusted psychiatrists, and of course, her third husband, Arthur Miller. If there’s a common theme running through Marilyn’s reflections, it’s her grappling with her deepest feelings, insecurities, and an often challenging past.
The ever-present past
The book kicks off with Marilyn spilling on her first marriage. Back in ’42, she was just 16 and hitched to this guy, James Dougherty. Didn’t last long, only four years. In her notes, she mentioned feeling shaky about their bond from day one. Feels like she penned those thoughts during therapy, years after the marriage ended.
Marilyn often spoke of her strong attraction to Arthur Miller. She described him as one of the very few young men she didn’t find repulsive. This emotion was so potent that it confused her, especially when juxtaposed against the “false sense of security” he provided. Her words paint a picture of a relationship filled with complexities, introspections, and moments of intense passion.
A doomed marriage
But hold up, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. She jotted down bits that made the relationship sound straight out of a romance novel. Secret meet-ups, stolen glances, sharing moments under the moon – the works. Marilyn described herself as this shy teen who came across as way more confident. Deep down, she just wanted to belong.
Marilyn frequently expressed her feelings about the overwhelming pressure of constantly trying to meet other people’s expectations. This sense of obligation, deeply intertwined with her own personal vulnerabilities, played a pivotal role in the struggles she faced. These emotions and pressures were particularly amplified within the confines of her marriages. Her turbulent relationships often seemed to be a reflection of these insecurities. The weight of outside expectations and her inner vulnerabilities proved to be a challenging combination for her throughout her life.
Marilyn faced “rejection and pain” early on
But the overall vibe? Marilyn wasn’t painting a rosy picture of her time with Dougherty. Seemed like she thought he was hung up on an ex. Finding out she was the rebound? Not mad, just deeply hurt. That crushing realization when your fairytale love story doesn’t match up to reality.
Recalling certain moments from her past was so agonizing for Marilyn that it made her “hands tremble.” She spoke about the challenge of truly knowing oneself and how confronting one’s own fragilities was tough. For her, a touch of vanity was crucial in navigating the darker periods of life.
She didn’t like people
Honestly, some of these writings feel super private, like we shouldn’t be reading them. It’s raw and real. Like, she wrote, “Sometimes, I just can’t stand people.” Can you imagine a 1950s starlet saying that out loud? She followed up with how everyone’s got baggage, but she’s just done.
“Trying to understand people, making compromises, and accepting certain realities was exhausting,” Marilyn mused. This continuous effort to balance her needs with those of others was a challenge she faced daily. It showcased her struggle to find harmony in a world where she felt constantly pulled in multiple directions.
Proud of her profession
Still, the allure of Hollywood seemed to keep her going. Word is, she started journaling around ’51. In one note from around ’55, she revealed her dream was always acting. And this deep dive into her psyche? It was all about embracing her craft, no shame attached. One entry was all about pushing through the pain and growing, both personally and professionally.
Marilyn started to dive deeper into self-reflection when she began her frequent sessions with the psychiatrist, Dr. Margaret Hohenberg. Seeing Dr. Hohenberg almost five days a week really made Marilyn immerse herself into understanding her innermost thoughts and feelings. It was as if the more she met with the doctor, the deeper she delved into herself, looking for answers and clarity.
Memories at the Waldorf
In 1955, Marilyn moved to the Waldorf Astoria in New York. She penned some of her notes on the hotel’s fancy letterheads. One of those notes had her writing about not getting too tied down or committing too deeply. Marilyn was like, “I’ve got to remind myself I’m not missing out on anything, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She believed she had everything except discipline and technical know-how. But not all her notes were this pragmatic.
One of the more unsettling notes detailed a vivid and disturbing dream where Strasberg and her therapist were performing surgery on her. This dream is a clear indication of the kind of anxieties and worries Marilyn faced throughout her life. It’s as if her subconscious was echoing the struggles she felt in reality. The dream seems to offer a glimpse into the emotional and psychological turmoil she experienced.
The substance of nightmares
Marilyn once shared a dream, or rather, a nightmare she had. It read like a stream-of-consciousness poem. She pictured Strasberg as this top-notch surgeon and Dr. Hohenberg as the one diagnosing her and prepping her for surgery. The goal? Bringing her back to life from some terrible illness. But as the dream unfolded, the surgery became terrifying.
“There’s absolutely nothing,” Marilyn bitterly wrote in her diary. She could feel the emptiness of whatever she was searching for. But what struck her even more was Strasberg’s disappointment. To Marilyn, the weight of that disappointment felt like it was all her fault. The pain of feeling like she didn’t live up to the expectations of someone she respected so much was almost too much to bear.
She was “made of nothing”
Marilyn once jotted down, “I believed there would be more than I ever imagined.” She had this notion that life had more surprises, adventures, and feels than she’d ever let herself believe. She was always chasing life, wanting to experience every high and low. Every day was like a mystery waiting to be unveiled. With her ever-curious heart, Marilyn was always up for whatever life threw at her, be it joy or sorrow.
This revelation by Marilyn gives us a deep look into her insecurities. Despite all her fame and talent, she constantly felt like she was seeking approval, especially from those she deeply admired. This unending quest for validation hints at a deeply rooted insecurity and the fear that she might never be enough for others, no matter what she did.
The best moments
Marilyn once revealed deep feelings for Arthur in her diary. She’s like, “I’m so protective of him. He’s the one. The only person I could truly love. Not just as a man, but as the one soul I trust as much as I trust myself.” It was more than just physical passion; it was a soul-deep love. For Marilyn, Arthur was her anchor, the only one who truly got her, reaching her heart like no other.
In the book, there’s this particular poem where Marilyn tries to imagine a younger Miller. Clearly, she was captivated by the idea of a younger, perhaps more idealistic, Miller. This writing shows the deep love and affection she had for him, especially during the early stages of their relationship. It felt raw, genuine, and completely heartfelt.
A poem and a dark premonition
One of Marilyn’s poems had lines about “my love” and “his strong jawline.” She reminisced about his youthful mouth and wondered if his eyes had the same innocent wonder as a young boy’s. But the poem wasn’t just an ode to her husband; it was a deep dive into love, loss, and memory. Given how their love story unfolded, the poem’s end is all the more heartbreaking. It laid bare Marilyn’s emotional struggles, swinging between love and pain, hope and despair. Yet her voice was loud and clear, singing praises of undying, unconditional love.
Marilyn’s words are filled with anguish and fear of loss: “Is this what it’ll be like when he’s gone?” she pondered. The thought of losing Miller, either through death or the end of their love, haunted her deeply. She often wondered which of the two would be more painful and if she’d be able to bear such a loss.
The beginning of the end
Things seemingly went south for Miller and Marilyn after they temporarily moved to England. Why? Marilyn was shooting for “The Prince and the Showgirl” alongside Laurence Olivier. While there, she stumbled upon a note in Miller’s diary that seemingly confirmed her darkest fears. The note hinted that Miller was “disappointed” with her and felt embarrassed by her in public.
Finding a note written by Miller deeply unsettled Marilyn. When she confronted him about it, Miller tried to defend himself by saying he was just developing a character for a play. But that explanation didn’t soothe Marilyn’s distress. She felt betrayed, like a wound had been opened in their relationship.
She didn’t believe in love
One of Marilyn’s notes shed light on her deep pain. She wrote about her fear of truly being someone’s wife. She felt that one can never truly love someone. She later vowed to take care of herself because that’s all she had, and she’s always had it. This realization even made her consider leaving the country.
After this incident, as reported by Vanity Fair, Marilyn sought comfort from her psychiatrist in New York. The emotional impact of discovering the note was so shattering that it led to severe insomnia and an increasing dependence on medications. She seemed to be looking for a way to numb the pain and find some solace.
All love is gone
In 1957, Marilyn and Miller relocated to Roxbury, Connecticut. But the change in scenery didn’t seem to help their relationship. Marilyn’s like, “I still feel hopeless. I think I hate it here. It feels loveless.” She added, “I feel so lonely. I see a frown every time I look in the mirror. I’m scared to look closer, scared of what I might find.”
When Marilyn looked in the mirror, she didn’t see the Hollywood icon the world adored. Instead, she described seeing “tension, sadness, and disappointment”, her eyes often filled with tears, and her cheeks lined as if they were “rivers on a map”. Describing her hair as “like snakes” and her “dull eyes” showcased the immense inner sorrow she felt.
A new therapist, but not a new perspective
Marilyn stopped seeing Dr. Hohenberg and started therapy with Dr. Marianne Kris. She continued to write down her thoughts, but they often reflected her inner turmoil. In a note titled “After a year of analysis,” she exclaimed, “Help, help, help. Life’s getting closer, but all I want is to fade away. Where’s the middle ground?”
Beyond her issues with Miller, Marilyn also grappled with her strained relationship with her mother. Vanity Fair highlighted how the actress lived in constant fear of following in her mother’s footsteps, especially the idea of ending up in a psychiatric hospital. It was like a shadow from her past that never really left her side, always reminding her of the potential pitfalls in her future.
The bitter end of an adventure
Marilyn wrote to Dr. Kris about her mom always trying to get her to “branch out.” Her mom wanted her to be adventurous and even a bit mean to other girls during her teen years. Instead, Marilyn showed loyalty to her. But, the real issue was her crumbling relationship with Miller.
Marilyn Monroe, the renowned actress who captivated the world with her iconic performance in “Some Like It Hot”, was frequently in the media spotlight. Every move she made, every choice she took was meticulously analyzed by both the public and the press. This intense scrutiny only heightened when news emerged of her relationship with Yves Montand, the famed French actor and singer. Their affair became public knowledge right as they were filming “Let’s Make Love”, a movie in which both had leading roles. This bond not only further fueled public curiosity and media interest, but it also sparked numerous rumors and speculations, making their relationship one of the most talked-about topics of the time.
Marilyn receives intensive treatment
In early 1961, Dr. Kris felt Marilyn had reached her breaking point. Marilyn was admitted to the psychiatric ward at the Payne Whitney Psychiatric Clinic. According to a detailed note by Marilyn, it was the worst time of her life. “There was no empathy at Payne-Whitney,” she lamented in a letter to another psychiatrist. “They hurt me so much.”
Meanwhile, Arthur Miller had his own set of issues to wrestle with. There were whispers about him having an extramarital affair. Then, in 1960, the couple decided to let the world in on their decision to split, marking the end of their tumultuous marriage. It was a move that left many talking, given their high-profile status. People speculated about the reasons, but at the end of the day, it was clear that both had their battles and perhaps they were better off apart.
Bad medicine
Marilyn described the inhumane conditions she faced at Payne Whitney as archaic. “Everything was under lock and key,” she recalled. Even the doors had windows so that patients were constantly visible. What disturbed her more were the visible marks of violence from past patients on the walls. Feeling trapped, Marilyn was reminded of a scene from her movie “Don’t Bother to Knock”. Mimicking her problematic babysitter role from the film, she explained in her letter how she took a lightweight chair and smashed it against the glass in a desperate act.
Marilyn once described a place she referred to as her “cell”. She talked about it being a stifling place, made up of “concrete blocks”, designed for “severely disturbed patients”. In this space, she felt trapped, as if she’d been penalized for a crime she hadn’t committed. It was like she was weighed down by an overwhelming feeling of injustice. It must’ve been tough for her to feel that kind of oppression and sense of confinement.
She “behaved like a madwoman” in the hospital
With shards of broken glass concealed in her hand, Marilyn calmly sat on her bed, awaiting the staff’s response. As they entered, she warned them, “If you treat me like a madwoman, I’ll act like one.” She even told them she’d cut herself if they kept her confined. It’s eerily reminiscent of a scene in “Don’t Bother to Knock” where Marilyn’s character threatens to end her own life with a razor blade.
Inside that cramped and claustrophobic environment, Marilyn talked about having to “hit hard just to break even a tiny piece of glass”. This seemed like a gesture of pure desperation, a bid to rebel against her circumstances. She must have felt so trapped, and breaking the glass was probably her way of trying to reclaim some control over her situation, a small act of defiance against everything holding her back.
“A very, very sick girl”
It took the combined strength of “two sturdy men and two equally strong women” to get Marilyn out of her cell. They restrained her and took her to the elevator, then moved her to a different floor of the hospital. Marilyn was thankful for one small mercy: they made sure to keep her face pointing downwards. She recounted, “I sobbed silently throughout the journey.” When they finally reached their destination, Marilyn had a chance to talk with the hospital’s director.
“He told me I was a seriously ill girl and that I’d been suffering this way for a long time,” Marilyn shared in her writing. This was a strong and poignant statement, shedding light on some intense inner pain she was experiencing. The nature of this comment suggests Marilyn was going through an especially tough patch. Many might wonder who said this to her and in what context.
A secret love affair?
Although the letter is loaded with distressing details, there’s an interesting twist at the end. When she mentioned a certain name, the person she was writing to would twitch their mustache and glance at the ceiling. “Guess who?” she teased. This person had been a (secret) close and affectionate friend. She wrote, “You might not believe me, but trust my instincts on this. It was a fleeting adventure of sorts.”
Marilyn mentioned in her writings that she wasn’t entirely sure whom she was referring to in a certain comment. And then, kind of out of the blue, in a postscript she dropped, “I haven’t heard from Yves [Montand] in a while, but it’s cool. Every time I think of him, it’s like he’s right there. The memories are so vivid, full of warmth and joy. Just recalling those moments, man, it gets me all choked up.”
The day the movies died
Tragically, not long after this hospital stint, Marilyn was found dead in her home on August 5, 1962. As many have stated, there’s a lingering belief that her death occurred under mysterious circumstances. However, the diaries and notes shared in this book suggest the deep-seated mental health issues Marilyn faced throughout her life. For instance, in one note, she heartbreakingly talked about a previous suicide attempt.
In another passage, Marilyn opened up big time: “Do you remember when I tried to end it all? I went about it meticulously, popping ten Seconal and ten Tuinal, hoping they’d give me some kind of relief.” It’s heart-wrenching, really, when you realize how deep her despair went and the sheer pain she was in at that time.
“I think maybe I’m crazy”
In another undated entry, Marilyn reached out to Paula Strasberg about her mental well-being. She penned, “Oh Paula, I constantly wonder why I feel this overwhelming distress. Sometimes, I think I might be as mad as the rest of my family members. When I was ill, it felt so real. I’m just so grateful you’re here with me.” But for fans skeptical of the suicide narrative, there are entries that feed their doubts.
There are parts of her letters where you can really feel Marilyn’s happiness shining through. Vanity Fair highlighted moments where Marilyn seemed to really trust herself, where she felt like she had goals, a clear vision for her future, even amidst her inner turmoil. It’s like, despite everything she went through, there were times she really believed in herself and her journey.
Another conspiracy theory
Entering the realm of conspiracy theories, there’s intriguing information about Peter Lawford, related to a notable U.S. president. Lawford was the last person Marilyn spoke to over the phone before her tragic end. But it seems that as far back as 1956, a whole six years before her passing, Marilyn had reservations about Lawford. The note she wrote about him is winding and doesn’t provide concrete answers, but it certainly offers a fascinating read.
Marilyn had jotted down a list of people she felt she could trust. But at the tail end of that list? A name that raised some serious eyebrows. She penned, “This one thought of violence keeps cropping up when I think about my fear of Peter.” It’s like, whoa, what was going on with this Peter guy?
“She might hurt me”
She delved deeper into her apprehensions, saying, “He could harm me, poison me, and so on.” The reason? “That eerie look in his eyes and his peculiar behavior. I now believe I understand why he’s been around me for so long: I need to feel fear. And recently, no one in my personal life has made me feel scared, except for him. I’ve been uneasy around him multiple times.”
Diving deeper into her thoughts on him, she revealed that she was genuinely scared. She added, “Peter wants to transition and desires to emulate how I am.” That statement is a real mind-bender. It’s packed with so many layers and leaves you wondering about the whole story.
A life of contradictions
There’s so much more to uncover for those who truly wish to understand Marilyn better. After all, she was far more than the “dumb blonde” archetype many perceived her to be. In 1955, Marilyn insightfully wrote, “I’m realizing that being sincere is often seen as pure foolishness. But given the insincerity of the world we’re in, maybe being sincere is indeed foolish.”
One thing was crystal clear: Marilyn was 100% committed to her craft. She once wrote, “In life, the goal is to not be overwhelmed by issues. In my line of work, truth can only be remembered, never made up.” That right there speaks volumes about her dedication and hunger for authenticity in her work.
Intoxicated by work, short of confidence
While she often seemed introspective and self-aware, Marilyn admitted to feeling insecure. She wrote before a performance, “I’m restless, jittery, scattered, and anxious. Trying to figure out how to play this cheerful young girl… How can I be so merry?” On another occasion, she mentioned, “I stand in front of the camera, and everything I’ve been trying to learn just leaves me.”
Despite her ups and downs, Marilyn’s resilience was something else. She recalled this one time, saying, “On a Sunday when I was 14, I felt exactly that way.” This hints that her battle with negative emotions wasn’t a new thing; she had been fighting these feelings for a long while.
She knew her mind
At other times, Marilyn showed she had a resilient side in her private life. She recalled an exchange with a therapist who wondered if her mental health affected her acting. Marilyn countered with, “Did they ever think that maybe Greta Garbo, Charlie Chaplin, or Ingrid Bergman might have felt depressed while working? It’s like asking DiMaggio if he could hit a ball when he was down. Ridiculous.”
In the year she passed away, right before an interview, Marilyn made a poignant note: “I’m incredibly critical of myself, yet I genuinely feel I’m improving, growing as a person.” Through some of her toughest times, she consistently sought out the positive side of things.
A devastating poem
Marilyn seemed acutely aware of the gap between her public image and the genuine person hiding behind the curtain of fame. It was as if she wore two hats: one as the glamorous diva in the limelight and the other as the introspective woman grappling with her own insecurities. In one of her emotional and introspective poems, she penned, “Life, I belong to your dual directions,” signaling her attempts to harmonize her public and private worlds. These lines expose her quest to bridge the Marilyn everyone knew and the Marilyn that few were privileged to see. It’s evident that through poetry, she sought an avenue to convey her deepest feelings and articulate truths that often went unsaid in her day-to-day life.
Marilyn’s poetry is a significant part of the book, and many believe she had a real gift for it. Arthur Miller, for instance, described her as “a street-corner poetess desperately trying to connect with a crowd more interested in tearing her clothes off.” Her poetic expression showed a deep connection with her emotions and a desire to communicate them to a world that sometimes overlooked her true depth.
A look into her mind
Another poem of hers kicks off with, “Oh damn, I wish I were dead, non-existent, far from here, from everywhere. But how could I go about it? There are always bridges, like the Brooklyn Bridge. But I adore that bridge. So, I’d need to pick another bridge, an ugly one, without a view. Though, honestly, I love all bridges.”
There’s an ongoing debate about her writings. Some wonder if they serve as a profound window into her turbulent mind, or if they’re just light-hearted poems. Ultimately, it’s up to each reader to dive into her words, interpret them, and decide for themselves what they really convey about her inner world.
The missing husband
One person who doesn’t seem to get much spotlight in her writings is Marilyn’s second husband, Joe DiMaggio. Maybe it’s because they tied the knot in 1954 and were only husband and wife for a brief nine months. However, we do know Marilyn and DiMaggio rekindled their bond in the early ’60s. The only significant mention of DiMaggio occurs when Marilyn details a Christmas encounter they had.
Marilyn once shared a personal moment, saying, “He asked me to come to him, and I gladly accepted the invitation.” This implies she felt a certain warmth or perhaps a special bond with that person. It gives a hint of vulnerability, indicating a moment where she felt truly connected or wanted.
Revealing the unknown
The essence of Marilyn radiates strongly through her diaries and poems. Despite the glitz and glam, she was always on a journey to understand herself and her place in the world. One of her poems stands out, suggesting her perspective on life and human relationships. “Only parts of us will touch only parts of others,” she reflected, hinting at the complexities and often fragmented nature of human connections. These words can be interpreted in myriad ways—either Marilyn believed that we can never truly know another soul entirely or she was musing on the transient, delicate nature of relationships. One thing’s for sure: these words unveil deep thought and a seeking soul, yearning to understand and be understood.
She stated emphatically, “The truth is right here, it’s a truth I deeply feel within me, a personal truth reflecting my experiences and emotions.” Through this statement, Marilyn shows a commitment to authenticity, revealing that her feelings and experiences were genuine and deeply personal.
Notes from a movie diva
Despite the challenges, the pressures, and the expectations of the showbiz world, Marilyn never stopped striving to live her life fully. She recognized the unique platform she had, the privileges that came with her stardom, and also the responsibilities. “I console myself thinking I’ve done things right,” she jotted down in one of her intimate notes, showcasing an inner battle between self-worth and self-doubt. This insight portrays a woman who, despite all her accomplishments, was still in pursuit of validation and a sense of fulfillment. Marilyn longed to make a mark, and even if she had achieved heights most can only dream of, it was vital for her to know she gave it her all. Balancing external expectations with her inner aspirations was a continuous struggle, but through it all, Marilyn aimed to stay true and authentic to herself.
With a sense of assurance, Marilyn penned, “I strongly believe in myself, even in my most delicate and intangible feelings.” This line highlights her inner strength and resilience. Despite the challenges she faced, she was determined to trust and honor her emotions, demonstrating her unwavering self-belief.
The misfit
Undoubtedly, those familiar with Marilyn’s life are well aware that her journey didn’t culminate in the kind of idyllic Hollywood conclusion that many had ardently hoped and dreamed for her. Her trials, tribulations, and the complexities of her existence often painted a picture far removed from the fairy tale endings we associate with the silver screen. However, amidst all the chaos and layers of her life, there lay an undercurrent of hope and a desire for understanding, especially concerning her own psyche. In a reflective note from 1962, she expressed a longing and anticipation, penning down her aspirations: “I hope, in the not-so-distant future, to delve into and share the marvels and transformative power that psychoanalysis holds. Yet, it seems the moment isn’t quite right; the time hasn’t fully matured for such revelations.” This showcases her relentless pursuit of self-awareness, yearning for healing, and the potential of shedding light on the therapeutic wonders she believed were within her grasp.
Even during her darkest moments, Marilyn always managed to find slivers of hope and joy. “I try to have fun whenever I can,” she wrote. Further emphasizing her positive outlook, she added, “I know I’ll have my sad moments too, but I want to make the most of the happy ones,” which she jotted down as part of a list of aspirations and to-dos. This speaks volumes about her ability to recognize and cherish even the briefest moments of happiness amidst the challenges.
