Doting Father
It is not easy as parents to see your kids get hurt, let alone being bullied at the one place you thought they were safe in. We send them to school because we want them to learn and feel safe. However, it has become prevalent nowadays that children are being bullied by fellow students and sadly teachers as well.
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One father in particular has discovered this sad truth. Tomas Valero saw his daughter cry every day every time she comes home from school. Every time he would try to ask her she would not tell him. He knew something was wrong and he was going to do something about it.
Starting School
While we may think that children love going to school, in truth, this is a very scary experience for them. Transitioning from a house to a school is sometimes very unnerving. It takes quite a bit of an adjustment for them before they start opening up.
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During this big adjustment, we, as parents have to be there for our kids. We have gone through this experience ourselves and we know firsthand that it is not easy. No matter how awesome the school is to us and no matter how friendly we think the teachers are, to the children, it’s all the same – it’s also scary.
Change In Demeanor
Going to a new school is always a tough adjustment. And our kids regardless of age need time to learn the ropes and get acquainted with the change in environment. However, what do you think will happen if your kid comes home from school crying?
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When Tomas first saw his daughter cry, he initially thought that it was because of the stress of the first day of school. Little did he know, that his daughter was crying because over much more sinister experience in school. As a child, that experience will stick with you forever.
Becoming Emotional
As more and more days pass, his daughter exhibited the same behavior as she did on the first day of school. Immediately, he knew what was going on but could not exactly pinpoint what it was that was stressing her out because she would not say.
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Every time that he and his wife would try to ask their daughter, she would start crying and either would not or could not describe the cause of stress. What he thought was just a case of nerves, became more and more problematic as his daughter was obviously troubled by it.
Over And Over Again
Growing up, the little girl used to love arts and crafts and just learning. That’s the reason why Tomas was so eager to send her to school. However, the crying became a regular occurrence in the household every morning before going to school and every afternoon coming home from school.
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At first, he thought that his daughter was just throwing a regular tantrum. But, he and his wife observed that the tantrums were becoming a routine. Days became weeks and weeks became months, it was all the same. His daughter no dreaded going to school.
Reluctant
Tomas and his wife tried talking to their daughter, but it was to no avail. The little girl was closed off. Every night before going to bed, he would try to talk to her ever so calmly to figure out what was going on and when she spoke, his heart dropped.
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The little girl was suffering all by herself because she did not want her parents to know and she did not want for there to be any backlash at school. She knew that if she talked, she was either going to get into trouble with the school or with her parents.
New School
According to Thomas, his daughter is a very healthy and active little girl. This stays true to this day. So when he and his wife thought that she was ready to face new people and to be in a new environment, he enrolled his daughter to the nearest school available.
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Pine Grove Elementary School was the next best option and knowing his daughter, he knew she would make a lot of friends and she would perform well in class. But that was as far as his expectations went because in reality, it was a nightmare for his daughter.
Ace In School
Tomas and his wife went to the little girl’s school in hopes to find some answers and get to the bottom of the problem. Their first thought was that if they were going to get some answers, they would need to start with people who interacted with her on a daily basis.
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To the teachers that they spoke with, all they had to say were praises of their daughter’s good behavior and eagerness to learn in class. She also had good grades, which left Tomas at a standstill. His daughter always came home from school crying, so it really must have something to do with the school.
Powerless
Tomas was anxious and he was really confused as to why his daughter was behaving this way. His wife, too, had tried her best to cope with their daughter’s change in demeanor. She tried her best to coax her into tell her the truth behind her mood swings and fits of tantrums after arriving from school.
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He would watch his daughter day after day and wondering what was truly going on and what was wrong with her. He did not want to see his daughter acting this way. Had he done the right thing to send her to that school? He felt so powerless. He wanted to help her but he did not know how but he knew deep in his heart that he needed to do something about it even if it meant going to extremes.
His Suspicions
As any parent, seeing your child obviously in pain, it pulls at your heartstrings. And Thomas knew that his little daughter had a reason to be upset. No child will throw tantrums without triggers and this he knew for sure. It hurt him to see his child change right before his eyes.
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Every day he grew worried and every day he would ask himself the same question “What is going on?” and “How can I help my daughter?” The first thought that came to mind was that his daughter was suffering because she was being bullied at school. It has to be it.
Patience Is Key
Growing up, we were always taught by our parents that patience is a virtue. And as we grow older, we practice the skill as we go about our lives and meet new people. It is especially true when you have kids yourself because kids require a great amount of patience every day.
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And it is no different for teachers and other educators. When you become one, you need to have the skill and mindset especially when you deal with kids younger than eight years of age. But what happens when you don’t have the patience and yet you deal with younger kids?
Formative Years
Tomas’s daughter is still very young and therefore she is still well within her years to learn and make mistakes. He understands that his daughter’s age is a crucial and very important time of her life. Ultimately, whatever she experiences in these years, she will take with her until the rest of her life.
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Tomas knew that he and his wife raised their kids to be good children and embody positivity. He also taught them to be respectful to everyone regardless of age and status. He wanted them to grow up knowing their self worth and provide security so they could develop a strong sense of awareness of themselves and of others.
The Mean One
School is supposed to be a haven for learning both mentally and emotionally. And there is a saying that a teacher becomes a student’s second parent because they will provide the same guidance, appreciation and love for the child while within the walls of the classroom.
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And what Tomas and his wife were about to find out did not prepare them for the harsh reality that their little girl was living in as soon as they drop her off to school. He and his wife were going to get to the bottom of the problem, even if it meant investigating it for themselves.
Taking Action
As a father who wants nothing more than a happy childhood for their daughter, he could not bear to see the little girl getting sadder and sadder every single day that passes. He and his wife knew that he had to do something and he had to act fast before this becomes a permanent thing.
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By his own investigation and asking around from fellow parents, teachers and students, he found out that his daughter’s teacher wasn’t really all she’s made up to be. So how can he prove this without actually being there and confronting her? He needed a solid evidence before reporting this to the school.
But How?
Tomas’ mind was in high gear. How was he going to actually prove that there was something going on at the school that was affecting his child? He knew asking to sit in would not cut it and neither would confronting the alleged teacher either. He needed to be smart about how he was going to approach this sensitive matter.
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He was adamant that the only way to prove the bullying was by “listening in.” It was going to be non-invasive and will be a safe way to conclude the investigation that the teacher is indeed the culprit to his little girl’s change in behavior. This was the only way he could think of.
Hidden Hearing Device
Tomas was really hoping that this would work. After all, this will be the best way he knows how. It will provide the best opportunity to understand what was going on without confronting the teacher and endanger his little girl’s school life as well as the other kids.
Tomas Velario/Facebook
Indeed this was a very drastic and serious approach but there was nothing much he could do. He decided that he would secretly hide the hearing device in his daughter’s hair so that she wouldn’t pick on it and be conscious and risk the teacher finding out.
Anticipation
Tomas was excited to see the results. He and his wife crossed their fingers and hoped that their plan was going to go smoothly. All they needed to do was to send their little girl to school and hope for the best. They were excited and nervous at the same time because they want to put this chapter behind.
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He would have to wait until his little girl came home, so there was nothing much that he could do but wait. Minutes turned to hours and the next thing he knew, it was time to pick up his daughter from school. When they got home, his hands were shaking as he did not know what to expect.
The Problem
He and his wife carefully removed the recorder from the little girl’s hair. They were nervous because they did not know what to expect and what the extent of the bullying was. He took out the device’s memory card and inserted it into his laptop. What he heard next was appalling.
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Tomas was shocked, to say the very least. In the audio recording, it sounded like their teacher was being very mean to her students. He continued to listen in, making sure he understood what was going on and it dawned on him that this must be the real reason why their daughter has become so closed off from the world.
In Troubled Waters
As soon as the recording ended, his suspicions were indeed correct. He hands grew cold and he was shaking, not from nervousness to what he should do next but because deep inside he was very angry and frustrated. He knew he needed to take further action.
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There was no doubt that he in fact could hear that the teacher was taking advantage of her position and it just disappointed him so much to know that the place where he thought their daughter could feel safe was like hell for her. He could not believe that it was just right under their noses the whole time.
Sick To His Stomach
As he was listening to the recording, he noticed some very crucial points that would strengthen his case against the teacher were he to file action. His daughter’s teacher wasn’t only “loud” but she was also very obviously mean to her students, saying offensive things.
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Instead of confronting the teacher and making matters worse, he decided that it was better to bring it to the higher ups. But to his surprise, the school district superintendent failed to take action and see what was wrong with the whole picture. He was sick to his stomach by the response that was given to him.
Not Enough
The school was aware that he was disappointed but the only solution that they could offer was to transfer his daughter to another class. He could not believe that the school would allow such a bully of a teacher to still work and interact with students.
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His main concern was that of the safety and well-being of his child and the other children who were in the same class. Because he knows that his daughter could not speak up for herself, he knew he had to stand up in order to make changes happen.
Online Petition
It wasn’t before long that the media caught wind of the issue going on at the school. Everyone had already heard about the bullying that was happening inside the walls of the classroom by the kids’ own teacher and how poorly the school had responded to the complaint.
Tomas Velario/Facebook
Although Tomas was not able to get the support that he needed and deserved from the school, he knew he was definitely going to get it somewhere else. And so, he was right. Everything started to change when he filed an online petition on Change.org. He had about 2,000 signatures of people willing to rally behind him to dismiss the bully teacher.
Preventing Traumas
It wasn’t before long that the media caught wind of the issue and there, Tomas did not expect for the whole country to support him. At first, he thought that this was a fight that he and his wife was going to have to do alone, but, surprisingly, people were rallying behind him and telling him he was doing the right thing.
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Even if he was unable to have the teacher fired, hearing how all these strangers supported his movement was enough. The school got the exposure he wanted and that he was creating awareness so that other parents avoid putting their kids’ mental health at risk. He did not want his little girl to look over her shoulder every time she sees a teacher and he does not want other children to experience this, too.
